Snark Weighs In

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What soap event has you most excited this week?
OLTL's anniversary celebration!
Y&R: Sudden Impact!
The return of GH: Night Shift!
The debut of Logo's new soap parody, Sordid Lives!
Wait...what's a Logo?
B&B! I just have to know if Honeybear survives!
Other.
Nothing about soaps excites me anymore. I just spend my days in my rocking chair, watching YouTube, and whittling.

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And Now, my monthly rant against Soapnet

posted Sunday, 11 May 2008

And now, my monthly rant against Soapnet...

(clears throat)

WHERE THE HELL IS THE OLTL

MARATHON?!?!  DAMN YOU, SOAPNET! 

DAMN YOU!  DAMN YOU! 

IT'S IN THE CABLE GUIDE, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!  YOU BASTARDS!

(CHECKS SOAPNET WEBSITE)

WHAT. THE. HELLLL?!  YOU RAN THE MARATHON LAST NIGHT AT 1 A.M.!  WHEN

WAS THAT ANNOUNCED?  AND YOU'RE ONLY RUNNING TWO EPISODES TODAY, SO

YOU CAN RUN A MOVIE ABOUT DOGWALKERS?! BUT, YOU'RE RUNNING ALL FIVE

HOURS OF GH TODAY, AREN'T YOU, YOU INCOMPETENT BASTARDS!  GOTTA HAVE 

THAT SONNY FIX, DON'T YOU? 

YOU MAKE ME SICK!  I SPIT IN YOUR GENERAL

DIRECTION!  PTOOEY!

THIS HAS BEEN SNARK'S MONTHLY RANT AGAINST SOAPNET, SPONSORED BY "SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL?",  "ARE YOU TRYING TO LOSE VIEWERS?" AND "COME ON, SOAPNET, GET IT TOGETHER!"




1. SFK, MD left...
Sunday, 11 May 2008 2:05 pm

Wow, that's rough. What a way to spit in the faces of loyal fans who SN doesn't even deserve. We downgraded our cable to the most basic package, and now rely on YouTube for any and all shows we've missed. We fans take better care of one another than the networks do.


2. WoSTBrian left...
Sunday, 11 May 2008 2:35 pm

I can't quite figure out what is more offensive... the fact that SoapNet failed to run the full OLTL marathon at the scheduled time... or that Snark actually wanted to watch it! Ugh.


3. Nicole left...
Sunday, 11 May 2008 2:49 pm

It's unreal how much that channel has been destroyed in such a short amount of time. Seriously, why does King Idiot Frons still have job?


4. Khan left...
Sunday, 11 May 2008 3:28 pm

Breathe in, breathe out....


5. Snark left...
Sunday, 11 May 2008 4:07 pm

That reminds me--at least Passions is still canceled. Thanks, Khan, for showing me the sunny side of life.

Brian, shouldn't you be off somewhere writing me that e-mail you promised like six months ago?


6. Fabobug left...
Sunday, 11 May 2008 6:39 pm

AND FOR THAT MATTER... what's up with displacing DAYS on Thursdays nights? What better way to destroy your own product than to keep interrupting it? I just got a new computer, and like many others I'm turning to YouTube for my soap fix now, past/present (including Beverlee McKinsey clips!). The fans are much better off running the show.


7. Larry left...
Monday, 12 May 2008 10:50 am

I had the same reaction Saturday afternoon, SoapNet only showed AMC Wed/Thur/Fri episode in the weekly marathon, yet my on-screen tv guide showed 5 AMC episodes. Not only did they have to show an mini-O.C. Mom's Day marathon, but another repeat of Relative Madness!! How is for a new slogan - SoapNet - Your favorite soaps, preempted.


8. Snark left...
Monday, 12 May 2008 10:58 am

Didn't one of the selling points of Soapnet used to be that if a portion of your soaps was pre-empted, you could catch the full episode on Soapnet? Or if your daffy local affiliate pre-empted your soap because they had to carry the press conference about State U. getting a new football coach, you cuold catch it on Soapnet. Now soaps get bumped for stuff you can see on ABC Family or E. How can there be any pride in the genre when the network devoted to the genre prempts itself? Remember when ABC was touting "the year of the soap"? We've come a long way, baby.


9. WoSTBrian left...
Monday, 12 May 2008 3:42 pm

>>Brian, shouldn't you be off somewhere writing me that e-mail you promised like six months ago?<<

Oops! Sorry, Snark... I actually forgot. Been busy lately. I'll fire that email off this week.